HOST & EMCEE
A couple of months ago, I happened to be in a hopital gift shop with my sister and Uncle, @BobSongs.
We were simply killing time, browsing the trinkets, teddy bears and other tacky items you would expect to find in a hospital gift shop.
Suddenly, we spotted a lonely wooden figurine.
It was a bunch of grapes with a cute little face painted on and with dangling feet, clearly made in China.
And it just so happened to be Mother’s Day the following weekend. Coincidence? I think not.
We had to buy the thing, partially because we knew my mom would hate it, and partially because we couldn’t comprehend why anyone else would buy a sick relative or friend a bunch of wooden grapes as a get-well present.
Henry the Grape-th, as we have lovingly named him, now resides in our beautifully decorated kitchen, sticking out like a sore thumb.
Last weekend, I was in Lytton, and had the opportunity to visit Hell’s Gates.
While in the tourist gift shop on the cliffs surrounding the Fraser River, I found Henry’s brothers and sisters.
There were ugly potato figurines, grungy orange decorations and smiling watermelons galore.
As a souvenir, I just had to buy my mom the banana man; he was by far the cutest.
Plus, he goes very nicely with Henry.
I was made aware that one day, I will be inheriting this oddball collection of fruit.
But in the meantime, I am going to spoil my mom with tacky gifts.