On a personal note…
My classes for the semester have finally ended, and I’m now left with a couple of weeks to reflect on another scholastic year gone by, and to decompress before heading into a summer of full-time work.
I’ll put it bluntly: The second half of my third year in university was not a four-month period that saw my finest work.
With that off of my chest, it’s easier for me to say that it was, however, a time of growth and productivity in other areas of my life. In fact, I feel like four years have flown by since January and I’m now in 2016, wondering why I ever was the way I was, and wanted the things I used to want.
I should have learned a very important lesson from all of this: That spreading yourself too thin is an inevitable consequence of an inability to say no.
But when it’s all said and done, I’d rather be plagued by an inability to say no, than a debilitating fear to say yes.
So as summer approaches, and the sun slowly works at melting away the stress still lingering from past deadlines and due dates, I’m looking forward to another “four years” of adventures between this semester, and the beginning of a new one next fall. (Which, by the way, marks the beginning of my fourth and final year in university.)
My goals for this next little while? My fabulous piano teacher always used to say: ‘If you don’t have your health, you have nothing.’ And after having had to take several mental health days this semester, I have finally realized that it’s time to accept this as a law of nature, and adopt his wise words as a rule by which to live my day-to-day life.
I’m looking to long and relaxing days spent at the beach, mornings started with pilates and yoga, and a lot of writing done because I actually want to write. I’m hoping to rediscover my former love of cooking, and to listen to more live music. Reading, lots and lots of reading, is on my page-long to-do list, which is, for once, filled with things I actually want to do.
Call it a summer of want, call it a summer of rehabilitation. But I’ve got a bucket list of things to see and do, and only so many weeks to do them. So I’m calling this, the summer of George Hayley.
Bucket List #66
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” — Robert Brault
It’s been a while since I’ve crossed anything off of my 10-year bucket list. We get so busy, caught up in working towards the big goals in our lives, that the little things seem to slip through the cracks of our day-to-day lives.
So Thursday, I smartened up, and crossed off one of those little things.
#66 Ride a motorcycle
It was a small ride, but a first ride. Armed with my more-fashionable-than-protective leather boots and jacket, a slightly oversized helmet, borrowed gloves, and a healthy dose of fear, a took a short ride in the afternoon sunshine.
And it was so much fun.
Harley rode a Harley, and now has 17 items down, with 84 left to go.
A tiny first step, three feet off the ground
This post is a quick commemoration to follow up on a previous engagement.
Even the slightest change in frame of mind can have a massive impact on what you get out of your day. Call it psychology, the Secret, the laws of attraction, sociology, human nature, a placebo effect, or Karma. It’s an idea: That having a positive attitude can positively affect your life, change your luck, and bring more happiness.
Committing to an idea is the first step. And when it shows results, it is incredibly uplifting.
Carrying out your idea, however, is unbelievable.
After a networking training session on Friday, I was inspired – and committed – to work on making stronger and more positive connections, either with those around me, or people I would like to have around me. I was also determined to leave my reservations at the door, to let go of any misguided fears about letting someone in, and the “riskiness” of reaching out.
And what I learned a couple of days ago has finally clicked: Networking isn’t about a accrueing contacts. Rather, it’s about making real connections, and about communicating person-to-person, putting status, position, situation, and differences, aside. It isn’t so much about exchanging digits as it is about exchanging experiences, sharing memories, and relating on a very basic human level.
While on the topic of trying new things and overcoming fears: Today, I climbed the giant white rock on White Rock’s West Beach: A terrifying experience that had me paralyzed for fear of falling off an aptly balanced log, halfway up the side of the rock, for what felt like a good five minutes.
I was barely three feet off of the ground.
But I eventually made it to the top, and, after more acrobatics and downward-facing-dog-like moves, I made it back onto the shore. I’m still rocking my adrenaline rush, hence the two blog posts today.
And I feel great.
An engagement
What does it mean to have, or make, a connection with somebody?
Is it as simple as maintaining eye contact, as having a firm handshake, or just listening to what someone has to say? In an age of digital communication, emoticons, and buttons to help us “like” and “share,” what is the real value of a face-to-face connection?
The arguments around whether digital discussion is as valuable and “real” as an in-person discussion go as follows: Either you state that because emotions and micro-expressions are lost in the typed word, digital “relationships” are somehow de-sensitized to the human condition, and less meaningful. Or, you believe that it is the quality of the relationship and the people involved that defines its value, regardless of the medium of the conversation.
I have always backed up the latter, arguing that it is possible to build and maintain a strong relationship with someone via social media or with the help of technology. For example, is your connection with an acquaintance more meaningful simply because you only ever communicate face-to-face, versus your relationship with a Tweep you interact with on an ongoing basis, with whom you discuss global trends, issues and conflicts?
Absolutely not, I’ve said. And I’ve been adamant about this up until two days ago.
But the reality of it, is that when we’re online, it’s so easy to forget that we are interacting with other people. Instead of telling someone how we feel, emotions and all, we can type a carefully crafted Facebook message and send it off into space, knowing it will land, but not knowing the impact our landed words will have.
Truly, there’s a sense of comfort in the convulution of technology. We don’t have to be real, or wear our hearts on our sleeves. And the best part is, it’s not technically dishonesty, just technological detachment, and it provides such a great buffer from hurt and regret and vulnerability. It’s preferable, reassuring to know that we can retract words we don’t mean, or brush off words that mean a lot.
Now when we go to talk face-to-face, it’s easy to forget that our face will inevitably give us away, and that this time, there is someone there to watch it. We see how much of an impact our words can have, and what’s normally not a big deal – not getting an immediate response to a text – becomes a terrible feeling of unworthiness: Seeing that the person you are trying to engage just can’t be bothered to reciprocate.
There is great power and positivity that can come from meeting and greeting in the real world. You can leave a lasting impression, and have a personal impact on somebody else. You may even find how much of an impact others can have on you, if you let them. And if you’re open and willing to seek out the best in everybody, human nature’s capability for kindness and caring may reveal itself to you in a big way.
Embrace it.
We are told that we should constantly be learning, that we should overcome a fear every single day. We’re told that the secret to life is to constantly be growing and bettering ourselves as human beings, communitarians and global citizens.
It takes about 30 days to make or break a habit: The perfect amount of time to strive to be a better person, or to be better at cooking, or tennis, or being honest. So for the next 30 days, my goal is to be more connected to the people around me.
It’s an engagement to be engaged, to not be afraid of making a connection, and to maybe learn to be a little more human in the process.
A night at the races
Two hundred guests, 20 Team members, 12 weeks’ preparation, two really big bottles of booze, and over $10,000 raised for Kwantlen’s President’s Ambassadorial Team’s very own Scholarship Endowment Fund.
Friday evening proved to be a huge success for the PAT: Our second annual fundraiser, held at Fraser Downs Racetrack and Casino, essentially tripled the total raised at last year’s event. Our toonie toss was a profit machine, our 50/50 raffle saw one lucky guest walk away with $928, and the all-you-can-eat buffet kept everyone happy and well-fed. Plus, our goodie bags were a hit, and the fast-paced horse-racing, and betting, kept everyone entertained.
Planning an event can be incredibly stressful, but when most of the problems you have to deal with are relatively positive, the only thing you can do is take a deep breath and smile: We ran out of seats because too many people wanted to attend, we barely had enough table space for our silent auction items because so many generous businesses supported our endeavour, and not every PAT member got the opportunity to participate as much as I’m sure they would have liked to, because the ones involved were just too good at what they were doing.
In the grand scheme of things, I’m walking away from the evening with a lot of pride for what we managed to pull off.
I’m also walking away having learned several life and event-planning lessons: Some I learned the hard way, but others I’ve discovered after having had some time to reflect on the whole process.
But at the end of the day, the purpose of the event was not only met, but exceeded. The PAT is now well over half-way to meeting their original $20,000 goal. So really, the fun is just beginning: A third annual event would definitely get us past that mark, and then we get to hand out scholarship money to another generation of students, and maybe even future PATs. For me, that’s the best part.
In the meantime, a shout-out to my irreplaceable current PATs, and wonderfully supportive friends and family. “The nice thing about teamwork is that you always have others on your side.” — Margaret Carty
What doesn’t kill you
Spring is here, and summer is not far off. Actually, summer is only about four weeks away. Third-year classes will soon be finished, exams completed, and school-based relationships forgotten until next term begins, where you’ll catch up like fabulous friends when in reality, four months have just flown by, and neither of you bothered to exchange a word.
We’re a quarter of the way through a year that has been so eventful that I’ve forgotten who I was and what I did back in 2011. A year that has made me realize, both directly and indirectly, that time is real, and is under direct orders to march forward, regardless of how many billions of people lag behind.
And it’s now, a quarter of the way through my year, that I’ve actually come face-to-face with my New Year Resolution: To be stronger, and in every sense of the word. Excellence is a habit, and we are each in control of how we let people treat us. We set the precedence for how we are perceived, how we are respected or feared. We may not be able to control what others direct toward us, but we definitely have some say in whether actions and words are repeated or not.
But it’s not personal, it’s just business, right?
Right. And I have taken excruciating steps to ensure that what’s personal to me, is never mixed with my business. But what no one ever says is that real business is built on what’s personal.
There are very few things I value. I wasn’t raised religiously, and I have no ethnicity, race, or culture I identify with. But I was raised on family. Not family values, but family in and of itself. It’s a system of unconditional support that isn’t defined by blood or ancestry, but by who has your back. And let me tell you, not all blood has your back.
I believe in loyalty, because in a world of subjectivity and relativity, if there has to be some sort of a higher calling, it’s going to be a faith in other human beings, and a faith that is one step removed from rash actions and heated words.
I believe in freedom and justice; that we are all entitled to do as we wish, as long as we don’t directly harm others, and as long as we are prepared to undeniably accept the consequences of the actions we choose.
Finally, I believe in respect: Respect for the fact that we are all going to act as we wish, respect for different beliefs, ideas, religions, cultures. Respect for individuality. And respect for the fact that respect does not mean agreement, but rather an acknowledgment that the beauty of freedom is the ability to have some say in who we are, in what we like, in what we trust.
I’m young, too young to be dealing with discriminatory disrespect, and yet simultaneously too old to only be realizing its presence now.
The politics of how to live are getting in the way of my living. Spring stands for new beginnings, and I’m taking a stand for a fresh start, and for the birth of a stronger, better, me. For I’d rather have people hate me, because then I’ll know that at some point in my life, I have stood for something.